Tempus Fugit

Tempus Fugit
by
Susan Laine
http://www.susan-laine-author.fi/
Copyright © 2012. Susan Laine. All Rights Reserved.
Tempus Fugit by Susan Laine
2nd Edition
1
T EMPUS FUGIT
Was Trevor watching a chick flick?
Closing the front door and moving through the apartment quietly, Hal crept down the
hall  with  a  bemused chuckle  threatening  to  escape  his  lips.  In  all  the  six  years  he’d  been  with
Trevor the man had never watched a romantic movie or read a romance novel. He’d once said hell
had a better chance of freezing over than him watching or reading that drivel.
But the sounds of smooching grew louder as he approached the living room.
Hal adored their apartment. Modern and minimalistic, the living room wasn’t clogged
down by superfluous items or furniture. Apart from the huge widescreen TV, black leather couch
and beech wood coffee table there were only a few personal items both Hal and Trevor treasured.
The football  trophy  Trevor  had  won  in  high  school,  the sculpture  Hal  had bought  from  a  gallery
after his first case won, the creamy shell souvenir from their first trip together to a trop ical island
in the south seas, the art and DVDs they had gathered over the many years of their life as a dedicated couple. All of these memorabilia spoke to the strength of their relationship, and Hal smiled.
Rounding the corner, Hal stopped  dead  in  his tracks as the sight so perplexing and
unimaginable appeared before him that his mind simply blanked out.
The  white blinds  were barely ajar, letting  the  last  remnants of  the  setting  sun
through in orange and red slivers, coloring the eggshell white room with a sensual hue.
Only…the view before Hal was anything but sensuous. It was, in fact, chilling him to
the bone, pooling icy waters into his stomach and attaching the weight of the world on his heart.
Trevor. Oh, Trevor. Since the first time he’d been introduced to Trevor at a party Hal
had  fallen  in  lust  with  that  man’s  body.  Only  recently  out  of  the  closet,  Trevor  had  been  in  his
mid-thirties then but was in his early-forties now. Though his big build was as much muscles as
padding Hal  loved every inch of big Trevor, from his strawberry  blonde  head, now with  a few silvery strands, to his big feet that were surprisingly nimble and light as they moved around.
But the part of Trevor Hal cherished the most were his lips. The full curve of his lo wer lip and the delectable dip of his Cupid’s bow, the cherry colored tone and soft kissable texture.
Hal worshipped the man’s lips.
Only at the moment some other guy was doing that instead of him.
Stunned into silence and frozen in place, Hal watched as a man he did not recognize
ate Trevor’s lips with fervor. He was younger, maybe late twenties, early thirties. Lean, lithe, sexy
as  sin  and gorgeous  as  a  god. Hal,  with  his  slight  paunch despite  weekly  gym  workouts,  nerdy
look with glasses, brown mess of hair and lack of the sophistication a suit seemed to provide everyone else but him (in  his opinion  his formal work attire made him  look  fat), was no competition
for this masculine work of art.
The  guy’s hands  were  everywhere,  all  over  Trevor,  snaking  around  his  neck,  gliding
down  his  back,  grabbing  those  firm  round  buttocks,  grinding  himself  against  the  man  of  Hal’s
dreams. He wondered in passing if the man even realized or cared that his casual fuck was someone else’s dream come true. Probably not.
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Trevor’s huge hands  gripped  the  guy’s  shoulders.  Not  pulling  him  closer,  but definitely not pushing him away, either. And that tongue action was not the act of a reluctant man.
Hal  sighed.  It was  a  gesture  of  resignation—which  baffled  him  since  a  part  of  him
was  more  than  willing  to  yank  that  guy  away  from  Trevor  and  toss  him  out  the  window,  even  if
they did live of the fifth floor and the drop would likely kill him.
Breaking  the  kiss,  Trevor turned,  as  if  awoken  from  a  reverie—or revelry—by  the
sound Hal had made. His blue eyes widened and his fair skin grew paler in shock.
“H-Hal… Y-you’re back… You’re early.” Whoa. Did that sound like an accusation, or
what? This was Hal’s home too.
He  brought  up  his  hand  with  a  single  red  rose.  “Nope.  Right  on  time.  Your  watch
must be slow again. I told you to take it to the clock repair shop down the street. But…I guess you
had  other  things  on  your  mind.”  Hal  was  surprised  at  how  level  his  tone was  and  how it had
echoed in his own head. Is that how he’d sounded to Trevor too?
“Or  maybe  your  watch  is  fast.”  Trevor’s  grunt  was  riddled  with  disapproval,  as
though Hal were the offender here. That was funny. Hal almost laughed but at the last minute he
realized he probably shouldn’t.
Trevor stared at the flower in Hal’s extended hand, his brow furrowed as if trying to
recall if this was a special day for them. That did make Hal chuckle. “I skipped the grocery store.
Thought  I’d  come  by  and  take  you  to  dinner.  But perhaps  your  hunger  is  already  sated  with  a
different course, hmm?”
Trevor  gave  an  awkward  glance  at  the  young  offender  standing  in  their  living  room,
bold as you please. “You should probably go, Neal. I’ll talk to you later.”
Neal? Now Hal had to fight off Doogie Howser, M.D.? How could one measly him win
over that piece of scrumptious ass? The guy shifted his curious but unashamed gaze from Trevor
to Hal and back before shrugging, picking up his coat from the couch and saunte ring to the front
door, seemingly without a care in the world, and promptly exited.
Now what? Hal looked at Trevor who stood in place, his arms crossed over his chest,
his darkened eyes narrowed, his stance rigid and angry.
Wait.  What?  Angry?  Shouldn’t  Hal  be  the  one  to  be  angry?  Hadn’t  he  earned  that
right  after  witnessing  his  boyfriend  making  out  with  anot her  guy  in  their  house?  Wasn’t  Hal the
only one allowed to get pissed off here?
“Is that for me?” Sullen, Trevor pointed at the rose.
Hal looked down at the rose, mystified as to why he was still holding it. What had he
been thinking when he’d gotten it? He knew what. Hal had bought it because he loved Trevor with
all his heart, soul and being. He couldn’t even imagine a life without him anymore.
Until  now, when  the  possibility  of  having  to  do  exactly  that  tore  his  heart  to shreds
and weighed him down like a ton of bricks. The prospect of living alone and not having Trevor to
talk  to,  to  laugh  with,  to  go  dancing  with,  to  sleep  next  to,  all  those dire  predictions blurred  his
vision with a veil of tears that burned like acid.
“Yes.  It’s  for  you.”  Without  conscious  thought  Hal  presented  his  flowery  gift  to  his
boyfriend who had just kissed another man with serious intent.
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Trevor  frowned  and  blinked  hard  several  times.  But  he  took  the  offered  rose – and
Hal saw his hand shake. “Thanks.”
“Just  in  case  you’re  wondering  today  is  no  special  day.  You  haven’t  forgotten  anything. I just…wanted to make you happy.”
Trevor shifted weight from one foot to another, staring down at the rose—or the floor,
Hal wasn’t sure. “You make me happy, Hal.”
“So, your mouth fell on that guy by accident? Or was he choking and needed a to ngue stuck in there to unclog his pharynx? Or was he having a stroke and needed mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation?”
Trevor had the good grace to blush before he grimaced. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”
“What’s that suppose to mean? How’s this my fault? I wasn’t the one who–”
“Well, maybe you should’ve been!”
It  was  Hal’s  turn  to  blink hard in  confusion.  Opening  and  closing  his  mouth  like  a
fish  on  dry  land,  Hal  was  sure  he’d  slipped  through  a  rift  in  space -time  into  the  Twilight  Zone.
This  was  surreal.  Trevor’s  handsome  face  was  dark  as  a  storm  cloud  and  he  glared  at  Hal  with
defiance.
“Y-you  wanted me to  have  an  affair?”  Dumbfounded,  he  couldn’t  wrap  his  brain
around the weirdness of what was happening. He’d been so happy before, looking forward to coming home and cuddling with Trevor on the couch, maybe making out –
That  brought  him  right  back  to  the  present—and  the  present  sucked  ass in  all the
wrong ways.
“Your job’s had you so busy–” Trevor started.
“I thought you were happy for me and us when I made partner,” Hal cut him off.
Trevor sighed ruefully, fidgeting with the rose stem. “I was. I am.”
“But…?”
“You’re never around anymore.”
“And that guy was?”
“Neal is a…colleague. And I didn’t ask for that. He kissed me on his own.”
“You weren’t exactly struggling to break free.”
Trevor’s  gaze  shot  up  sharp  and  fierce  and  hurt  and  embarrassed  and…  All  those
emotions battling for dominance. Hal almost empathized. Almost. “Would you have preferred I kill
him where he stood?”
“I  doubt  you  would’ve  stood  up  for  much  longer.  Hope  you  were  at  least  going  to
change the sheets afterward.” Hal spun around on his heels and headed for the fridge. He needed
a drink, and wine just wouldn’t cut it today. Red wine with dinner, white wine with friends, beer
on game nights – and whiskey for emergencies. This was absolutely a whiskey night. Digging out a
glass from the cupboard and fishing out the whiskey bottle from the liquor cabinet, Hal poured a
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few fingers’ worth and drank it all down in one. He winced at the sudden burn and nearly coughed but held it back at the last second.
“You  think  drinking’s  going  make  this  any  better,  Hal?”  Trevor  had  come  to  stand
right behind Hal, and Hal could feel his eyes boring into the back of his head.
“This?” Hal  poured  himself  another  drink.  The  heat  from  the  first  had  already
reached his empty stomach, flushing him with warmth he’d hoped would have been the result of
Trevor’s ardent kisses instead.
“How long have we been together?”
Hal shuddered as the chill of the impending implosion of his life drew imminent. “Six
years.  Seven  in  three  months.” Over  his  shoulder Hal  dared  a  glance  at  Trevor from under  his
brow, his too long brown strands falling over his eyes. “Will we get to celebrate that, Trev?”
For a moment there was an awkward, pressured, heavy silence hanging over and between  them. It  was the  first  time  Hal  had  ever  felt  so  unsure,  afraid  and  sad  with  Tr evor  who  lit
up his life brighter than the sun in the sky.
Trevor locked eyes with Hal and held the gaze, fiery and cold at once, and Hal knew
he was lost. “I don’t think I’ve ever–”
“Don’t bother. I get the message. Got it loud and clear. If you want to leave–”
“What I want is for you to stop talking for one goddamn minute, Hal! Can you do that
for me?” Trevor’s hands had fisted and they shook at his sides vehemently. The blaze in his eyes
was so different from the fire that sex with Hal could create that he had no retort to that kind of
fury,  so  he  merely  nodded  in  a  loaded  silence that  hollowed  him  out. Trevor  sighed  wearily  and
rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Hal. But things have got
to change.”
“What  things?”  Hal’s  curiosity  itched  and  forced  him  to  blurt  the  words  out  like  a
physical lump in his throat.
“You’re  never  here,  Hal.  This  right  here,  today’s…gesture, was  the  first  time  in  four
months you’ve been home before ten p.m. And when you are home you’re too tired to be with me –
in any sense of the word. You make promises you don’t keep. You tell  me I’m coming home early
tonight, I swear. Yeah, for a few days you do, and it’s great. But then you slip back into old habits,
work like a fiend and come home late. A half an hour late. Then an hour late. Two, five, all night.
Or  what  about  your weekend absences  when  you  said  we’d  go  out  or  stay  in  or  just  spend  time
together, like we used to? Whenever I bring all this up you wave a dismissive hand at me and say
it’ll get better once I’ m partner. Only…it never did, and you are partner now. Just not mine, apparently. Jeez, Hal. I’m not asking for all of your precious time. Just…a little bit more than the quick
peck on the cheek in the morning or evening when you crawl in and out of bed, hoping not to disturb me so I wouldn’t notice how late you come in or how early you leave.”
Hal frowned. Yes, he’d always been a bit of a workaholic and he had been clocking in
some long hours since he’d been made partner  in the law firm where he worked. But it had only
been…four months? No, a coincidence, surely. And definitely not four whole months. Why just the
other week– okay, maybe a bit longer than that in all honesty.
He  shook  his  head  furiously.  “I  refuse  to  be  made  the  guilty  party  here  when  you
were the one playing dentist with some guy half your age.”
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2nd Edition
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Trevor closed the gap between them by the island counter with black marble tops Hal
loved and  placed  his  hand  firmly  over  Hal’s  hand  grasping  for  the  whiskey  glass  again. “Which
upsets you more? That I was kissing Neal–” Hal scoffed. “–or that he was younger than you?”
“I  had  no  idea  you  thought  my  meat  wasn’t  hot  enough  for  you,”  Hal  growled  and
yanked  his  hand  away,  filling  his  glass  once  more. Yes,  it  was a crude way  to  put  it,  especially
since Hal knew he wasn’t a young man…like Neal. But if Trevor didn’t find him physically attractive  anymore  didn’t  that  mean his  emotions for Hal would  inevitably change  too? Would Trevor’s
feelings wane a bit or fade away altogether?
Trevor growled, echoing Hal, and this time his grip hurt when it landed on Hal’s arm
and forced it down to keep him from drowning his sorrows in a bottle. Still, Hal was pretty determined to try crawling inside all the way to the bottom because there, at least, it would be nice and
warm.
“Your meat hasn’t been around long enough for me to ascertain that one way or the
other in ages.”
“What  do  you  want  from  me,  Trev?”  Hal  shouted,  unable  to  control  the  outburst.
“You want me to quit my fucking job? Is that what you want? Because it’s fuc king easy for you to
talk like that when your job at the bank is a sweet nine to five deal, and you don’t have to –”
“I  don’t  have  to  what,  Hal?”  Trevor’s  voice  never  rose  when  it  was  angry. It  dropped
low  and  dangerous,  and  if  Hal  hadn’t  been  so  goddamn  furious  he  would’ve  felt  the  temperature
in the room drop to an  arctic level. “Don’t have to wine and  dine rich, powerful clients without  a
care  in  the  world  because they  can  buy  their  way  out  of  anything?  Don’t  have  to  travel  to exotic
destinations to lie on the sand under the sun and negotiate some legal technicality that’ll advance
the law but regress justice back to the Stone Age?”
Hal’s cheeks reddened as he felt the heat wash over him. “I had no idea you thought
that  way  about  what  I  do.  What  I  love  to do.”  Great.  Now  they  were  just  dredging  up  reasons  to
keep the fight going and avoid the inevitable separation.
“I didn’t start a relationship with a man so ambitious he forgot that last weekend we
were supposed to go up to the cottage in Maine like we’d discussed for the past two months.”
All  the  anger  left  Hal  in  a  heartbeat.  How  had  he  forgotten  that?  Yeah,  now  it  was
coming back to him. He and Trevor had made plans to travel up north so they could spend some
quality time together and celebrate– Oh, fuck.
“You  remember  now,  don’t  you?”  Trevor  could’ve  sounded  indignant.  It  would  have
been his right. But no, he sounded sad and disappointed.
How could Hal have let Trevor’s own promotion slip his mind? Manager of the Overseas Accounts, or something along those lines. He blushed because all of a sudden it hit him that
presently he knew Trevor perfunctorily—and he’d let the specifics fade into obscurity as he’d lost
track of who Trevor was today. This was a darkness of his own making. He didn’t even know his
lover’s exact job title. Hal had been so busy lately with work, with the Douglas case, the Morales
case, the Anderson case… On and on the merry-go-round spun.
Who  was  he  when  he  wasn’t  at  work?  He’d  thought  he  was  Trevor’s  boyfriend  and
lover  and  companion. Why  did  he  feel  like  a  roommate  now?  His  career  had  peaked – while  his
personal life had slipped down  the  drain. Trevor  wasn’t  alone  because  of  anything  he  had  done
himself. Hal had pushed him into the arms of a willing man.
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Desperation  filled  him  to  the  brim  and  overflowed  through  his  eyes.  Tears  fell  down
his cheeks in fits, his subtle sobs emerged in tiny bursts, and his knees buckled. Sliding down the
side of the island counter, Hal ended up practically curled on the floor, his knees up to his chin,
hugging himself because he doubted anyone would do so ever again.
Then Trevor was there, surrounding Hal with his arms, holding him close. Instead of
comforting him, the tender gesture made Hal feel worse. In passing he wondered if that had been
Trevor’s goal all along. But just as quickly he dismissed the notion. Trevor wasn’t a cruel or a malicious person. He could never intentionally hurt anyone, least of all someone he loved.
Did he still love Hal?
“I’m sorry, Trev. So sorry.”
Trevor caressed his cheek, smoothed his hair. “I know, babe. I know. I’m sorry too.”
Hal  knew  he’d  come  out  sounding like  a  whining  child.  “Why  did  you  do  it?  Why’d
you have to kiss him? Are you going to leave me?”
“Of  course I’m  not  going  leave  you,  dummy. I  love  you.”  Trevor  had  been  hunkering
but now he sat down on the parquet floor next to Hal and drew him closer until Hal was practica lly sitting on his lap. His breath, coffee and bagels from the French place a block over, fanned over
his  face,  brushing  his  hair.  “But  things  have  got  to  change,  Hal.  Your  job  isn’t  the  only  one  that
needs you.” Before Hal could utter a reply, to promise anything, Trevor added softly, “And I’m sorry I said those things about your job. You’re a great lawyer. Don’t ever doubt that. I know we don’t
live in a perfect world but I know you do it to help people.”
Hal had to argue that point. “No, Trev. I do it to get ahead.”
At that Trevor suddenly chuckled, and Hal was bewildered by the amusement there.
“No,  you  don’t.  The  long  hours,  the  business  meetings, hanging  around  unscrupulous  people.
Yeah, those things could make you forget why you got into this line of work. But I know you. And
I know you love the law.”
“I love you, Trev. Always have.”
Trevor sighed contentedly. “I know, babe. But…I also know that in the past few years
you’ve let time get the better of you. Remember when we were dating and you talked about starting your own law practice? You had a sparkle in your eye then, and I fel l in love with you because
of it. Lately…” His voice trailed off, and Hal shivered. His eyes felt dirty, like someone had poured
sand  in  them,  and  the  wet  striations  on  his  cheeks  and  neck  tickled and  itched.  He  wanted  a
shower—and he needed a change.
“D-do you want…that other guy more than me?” He heard the crack in his own voice
but had no way of controlling it. Fear consumed him.
“Neal?”  Trevor  sneered  in  contempt.  “No.  I  told  you.  He  kissed  me,  not  long  before
you came home. I didn’t stop him because I felt flattered and lonely. But even if you hadn’t come,
Hal, I would’ve put an end to it soon enough. Neal’s got…appetites I don’t share. And you, you big
lug, I do love you. Always will.”
Exhaling the painful breath he’d not realized he’d held, Hal felt liberated. Exhausted
but free. That guy had meant nothing. The kiss had meant nothing. Hal was still Trevor’s guy. The
sight of Neal kissing Trevor dimmed and vanished from Hal’s memory like a ghostly apparition. He
wound his arms around Trevor’s waist and tightened his grip until Trevor hissed.
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“I’ll resign tomorrow–”
“Jeez,  Hal.”  Trevor  shook  his  head,  and  his  chin  rubbed  against  Hal’s  scalp,  his
stubble making a frizzing sound. “Don’t do it for me. You had a dream once, Hal, and I know you
miss it too. We’re both over forty, babe. Don’t you think it’s high time to grab onto our dreams and
make them come true?”
Hal  lifted  his  head  from  Trevor’s  chest,  where  his  woodsy  cologne  had  filled  his  nostrils  and  his  steady  heartbeat  had  thumped  in  his  ears. Trevor’s  eyes  glimmered  dark  and  wet,
undoubtedly like his own. “What do you dream about, Trev?”
Trevor’s perfect lips curved up into a smile. “Easy. You. Even when you’re here with
me I dream about you.” How had he not seen this man before, sitting at his side ready, willing and
able to give all his love to Hal and Hal alone? Hal sniffed, and then shuddered as Trevor’s laidback
smile  turned  into  a  feral  grin.  “At  the  moment,  though,  I  dream  about  you  naked  in  the  shower
with me. You up for that, counselor?”
Hal chuckled. “Trev, I’m a defense attorney, not a–”
“Not a fastidious nitpick? Not a pedantic prick?”
“Asshole.” Hal laughed. And the sound rang strange in his ears, as though it was the
first time he’d ever heard it. Or so long he’d forgotten what it sounded like.
Trevor  leaned  down  and  kissed  him—and the  outside  world  melted  away.  Nothing
and  no-one  but  Hal  and  Trevor  existed. Soft  lips,  just  like  always.  Only  more  insistent  now,  demanding, forceful. Trevor tested the seams of Hal’s lips with the tip of his tongue, asking for permission, urging reaction, eliciting a response.
Hunger  obliterated  Hal’s  reason. Heat  prickled  through  his  skin  from  Trevor,  permeating  Hal  through  every  pore  until  he  burned  with  need. Parting  his  lips,  Hal  welcomed  his
lover’s tongue that swept in, zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. Trevor set out to conquer Hal’s lips
with teasing nibbles and luscious licks, suckling and devouring Hal’s tongue like a vacuum. Their
breaths mixed with each pant and gasp as they fought for oxygen in between starving kisses.
Hal’s  fingers  fumbled  with  the  buttons  of  Trevor’s  formal  light  blue  dress  shirt that
he wore at the bank but in frustration he couldn’t wait anymore so he grabbed the shirt and tore
it open. Buttons flew and rained on the floor with tiny clicks. Trevor laughed into the kiss, breathless, and Hal wasn’t certain if he wanted to deck the guy or fuck him through the floor.
Scrambling  up  on  his  feet,  Hal  dashed  toward  the  hallway  and  the  bathroom.  “Tag.
You’re it.”
“Cheater.” Trevor’s shout was faint with the growing distance but even now Hal could
hear  the underlying  warmth  and  love  there.  They’d  be  all  right.  Yes,  there’d  be  adjustments  and
compromises. But the one thing Hal would never let go of was Trevor.
By the time Trevor had reached him in the bathroom all of Hal’s clothes were already
in a bundle on the floor. Opening the glass door to the big shower stall with its faux woo den walls,
Hal  glanced  over  his  shoulder  and  let  his  gaze  skim  that  masculine  body  undressing  in  a  hurry
before his eyes. Working indoors and not traveling to sunny climates, Trevor was fair-skinned and
his  strawberry  blonde  hair  merely  accentuated  that  fact. Those  beautiful  blue  eyes  shone  with  a
light  Hal  realized  he  hadn’t  seen  in  a  while.  That  told  him  u nequivocally  that  the  sex  they’d  had
lately had been a mechanical rutting routine.
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Well, tonight would be different.
“Why  did  you  bring  me  the  rose  tonight?”  Trevor  asked  cramming  himself  into  the
shower stall. It could’ve accommodated two lean people with ease but two regular-sized men… It
was a tight fit – which suited them fine.
Hal shrugged, ducking under the spray until he was wet all over. He felt Trevor’s big
gentle hands massaging shampoo into his brown hair. The lather was rich with a minty scent that
soon filled the steamy shower stall, enveloping the two of them in a warm, wet cocoon. After he’d
rinsed  Hal  looked  up  at  Trevor  who  was  an  inch  and  a  half  (two,  if  he  told  the  story)  taller  than
Hal.  “I  don’t  know. I  just  wanted  to make  you  happy, I  guess. I  work  late  and  I…I  miss  you. I’ve
been swamped lately, and for some reason I couldn’t wait to get home and see you.”
Trevor smiled happily. “That’s a start.” Giving Hal a quick sloppy kiss on the lips, he
added, “I’ve missed you too, babe. I’ve missed your laugh and your brown puppy dog eyes and the
way you always make feel like all the air’s gone out of the room.”
Hal’s  chest  puffed  with  pride  and  his  heart  swelled  with  love. Moving  aside  to  give
Trevor his turn under the warm spray, Hal worked his fingers into the shampoo and reciprocated
the hair washing. It wasn’t a chore, it was an act of adoration, and when those baby blues stared
down at him with laugh wrinkles at the corners as he grinned, Hal knew he’d trade anything to be
able  to  keep  this  man  loving  him  forever.  It  wasn’t  like  he  was  giving  up  a  lustrous  career.  Ever
since  law  school  he’d  dreamed of  starting  his  own  practice  defending  those  who  really  needed
help. But he’d gotten blinded by a lucrative job opportunity at a private law firm. It would be hard
to change the course of his life now, to drop everything and start over at forty-three.
But not impossible.
Trevor was right. He’d lost his way. He’d allowed time to waltz on by while he climbed
a corporate ladder going nowhere he actually wanted to end up.
And  he’d  almost  lost  Trevor  along  the  way.  In  the  light  of this  man’s  love  Hal  knew
he’d find his way out of this grey oblivion and start anew.
But that was tomorrow. Tonight there was no world outside these walls. The only two
people in existence were Hal and Trevor.
While  Trevor  washed his shampoo  out  Hal  lathered  a  loofah  with  a  liquid  soap  that
oozed the scents of eucalyptus, tea tree and lavender, and began to wash his lover all over. A thick
coating of strawberry blonde fuzz covered Trevor’s barrel chest and a sprinkling of hair dusted his
thighs as well. Hal had less hair on his own body, giving his tanned skin an exotic look, like that
of a Native American, lither and leaner than Trevor but still beefy. He hit the gym more frequently
than Trevor which was strange since Trevor spent more time out of the office. Hal hit the gym at
his  office when  stressed  or  schmoozing  clients, and  he  groomed  himself  regularly  with  precision
and attention to detail (and still always managed to come out looking geeky). Trevor and Hal were
still as strong and bulky as ever despite the fact that neither of them were young men anymore.
They  had  similar  interests  too,  such  as  going  out to restaurants  to  eat,  taking  long
walks in the park hand in hand, loving the idea but not the practicalities of a pet dog. Trevor had
intellectual  pursuits,  Hal  knew,  and  he  went  to  every  book  launch,  art  exhibit  and  foreign film
festival that came up. Hal went with him even though he preferred cocktail parties, nights in hot
tubs  and  his  movies  without  subtitles and  with  popcorn. Still,  they  had  more in  common  than
not.
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They fit together perfectly as far as Hal was concerned.
Just  then  Hal  had  his  epiphany. The  job  as  a  lawyer  wasn’t  his  goal  and even the
private practice wasn’t his dream. Trevor was.
“I love how hairy you are”, he murmured in appreciation as he let the loofah wander
all over Trevor who wasn’t a bear but still hairier than Hal. His fingers did more perusing than the
loofah did washing.
“I love how smooth you are.” Trevor’s big hands moved across his body with a feather-light touch that drove Hal insane when he could feel even the water droplets on his skin more
acutely than Trevor’s taunting touch.
“Fucking tease.”
“Language, counselor.”
Suddenly Trevor’s arms wrapped around Hal tight and he crushed his mouth against
Hal. They kissed so hard and deep that Hal felt bruised and tasted blood as their teeth clashed on
lips. But he didn’t want to stop. He wanted Trevor’s taste – be it sweat, blood, tears or come – to
fill his senses and body until he’d be flying high into orbit, mindless and boneless.
Trevor pushed Hal back against the wall, pressing the entire length of his body flush
against  Hal’s. Hal’s  cock  came  up  so  fast  he  saw  white  spots  in  his  field  of  vision and  the  jerky
pumping  motion  shot  sweet  painful  shock  waves  through  his  system.  Trevor  was  hard  too,  and
their cocks rubbed against each other in delicious friction of that familiar soft har dness Hal loved.
Over the earthy scents of the soap rose the smell of male musk and precome. Hal felt on his most
sensitive skin that he was leaking steadily and  assumed Trevor was too but the water cascading
over them made it hard to tell.
“We haven’t done this in a long time,” Trevor mumbled into Hal’s mouth, sucking on
his lower lip, tugging and nipping until Hal quivered all over, chills and hot flashes mixing inside
his body and outside on his skin into a curious combination of sensations.
“Far too long, honey,” Hal confirmed in a hungry huff.
Both Trevor’s free hand and the one holding the loofah traveled all over Hal, but this
wasn’t getting cleaned up. This was pure sex. Well, foreplay anyway. Hal shivered as the need to
feel his partner filling him up turned his brain to mush and his groin into a lake of lava.
“You gonna fuck me, Trev?”
“You want to?”
“Yeah. More than anything, honey.”
“Turn around, babe.”
Hal flushed. His blood felt like it was at least five degrees higher than it should be for
safety, melting his insides into a puddle of lust. Without the slightest resistance or reluctance, Hal
turned  around  and  laid  his  palms  against  the  wall,  slipping  a  bit  when  Trevor  wound an arm
around his waist and pressed him flat against him, back to chest.
It had been a long time when he’d fucked either standing up or in the shower but he
wanted Trevor to remind him of all the reasons why they’d agreed to date, to be exclusive, to dis-
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card condoms, to move together and to build a  life together in the bustling city of New York. Hal
wanted that old flame to rekindle and burn him to cinders.
But deep down inside he hoped that this connection between him and Trevor would
be  different  from  now  on. Not  tenuous,  but  stretched  to  the  limit. They’d  walked  the  edge  of the
precipice of dead end relationships and almost fallen into the abyss. Hal never wanted to get that
close to losing what mattered to him the most again.
“Stop that head of yours. Just relax and enjoy.”
Trevor’s  mildly  scolding  tone  belied  the  heavy  breathing  and  urgent  hands  pushing
Hal’s ass cheeks apart. They always kept a bottle of lubricant handy in the shower rack, so it was
easy for Trevor to rub lavender scented lube down Hal’s crack. Trevor worked his big blunt fingers
in Hal’s puckered hole, stretching him with that intimate burning sensation he had desired since
the first time his ass had been played with and pierced by a man’s cock.
A thumb now, popping past the snug ring of muscle, rubbing gently and then harder
until sweet frissons of pleasure ran up and down his spine. “God, Trev. More.”
“Shh, babe. I’ve got you.”
Two thumbs slid into him, opening Hal’s inner channel with a thorough probing like
no other man could. Physically could, yes, but Trevor parted the gate into his soul too.
“I  want  you,  Trev.  I  need  you.  Don’t  ever  leave  me.” Pleading  sounded  alien  to  him
but he couldn’t take the words back. They were true anyway.
Trevor  kissed  between  his  shoulder  blades,  an  open-mouthed  kiss  with  tongue  and
lips working in unison to drive Hal crazy. “You’re not going anywhere, babe. I’m keeping you.”
Keep me forever. Hal shivered, and with a quick glance over his shoulder begged for
Trevor to stop playing and get to the good stuff. To emphasize his point he wiggled his hips, those
fingers in him twisting.
“Eager slut.” Trevor chuckled against the nape of Hal’s neck, sucking up a mark.
“You know it. Come on, Trev. I’m dying here.” Hal’s thig hs shook and his arms trembled with the strain of too many emotions and sensations within and without.
Thumbs left him and Hal felt empty. But the silky, blunt tip of Trevor’s cock nudged
at  his  opening.  Unable  to  contain  his  need,  Hal  pushed  his  hips  back in a wanton  motion,  and
Trevor’s fat cock popped through, widening his hole and channel almost to the breaking point. His
hollow passage filled  to  the  brim,  Hal  quaked  with  the  mix  of  wanting  more  and  needing  a  m oment to adjust. He knew Trevor would grant him all the time he needed but right now Hal wanted
a bit of pain with his delight.
He  shook  his  head  at  the  unspoken  question for  more  time,  and  Trevor  inched  his
way inside Hal with more force than usual. Trevor didn’t stop until he was seated inside Hal to the
hilt,  his  groin bumping against  Hal’s  buttocks. How  peculiar  was  the  curious  mix  of  familiarity
and  newness  Hal  was  experiencing,  as  though  Trevor  had  always  been  right  there  inside  him –
and never before so deep, so profoundly.
“Hold on, babe,” Trevor panted in his ear, pulling out almost entirely before pushing
all the way in hard, rough and deep, as if he knew this was how Hal wanted it now.
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“God,  so  good,”  Hal  grunted  with  the  exertion  as  Trevor  picked  up  the  pace,  driving
his cock in so deep Hal imagined Trevor might come out of his throat. “Yeah, just like that. Right
there. Fuck, right there.”
Trevor’s dick hit Hal’s gland with every thrust until Hal was out of his mind with lust
and  crying  out.  The  warm  water  began  to  feel  cool  on  his  skin  as  his  body  heated  with  sex. His
dick  stood  up  straight  like  a  torpedo  waiting  to  launch  and  he  was  sure he’d  come  with  just  the
brush  of  fingers. Trevor’s  hands  gripped  his  hips  hard,  fingers  digging  into  the  flesh,  bruising,
taking. Hal would’ve given anything to never have to stop.
“You close, babe?” Trevor’s voice came through muffled and Hal understood how urgent  the  need  to  come  was.  Trevor pounded  into him so  roughly  that Hal almost  couldn’t  get  a
word out as confirmation. All he could do was nod emphatically, like a jack-in-the-box wound up
too tight.
Trevor’s hand snaked  down to fist Hal’s cock, and that really was too much. With a
sharp yelp Hal climaxed, spurting come all over the shower stall wall. And how odd it was that no
matter how hard he came he just kept on spouting, as though there were reserves of come hiding
in  his  balls  he’d  never  know  and  now  he’d  tapped  into  them.  Jerking  involu ntarily  at  the  sheer
power of his release, Hal worried he might’ve lost some spinal fluid in there somewhere too.
“God, Hal.” Trevor shuddered as his hand and his hips kept working.
Hal’s  inner  muscles  clamped  down  on  Trevor’s  cock.  Slamming  hard  a  few  more
times,  Trevor  suddenly  stilled.  He  held  his  breath,  like  he  always  did  when  he  was  coming.  Hot
jets of come filled Hal with life in a way he knew no other experience could ever hope to achieve.
Milking his lover dry, he squeezed and released his ass over and over again until Trevor had nothing more to give. His hand stilled on Hal’s depleted dick that was feeling too sensitive to stand  a
single touch again. Yes, he had a strong suspicion they’d do this again in bed before dawn but for
now Hal was sated.
Trevor  slumped  against  Hal’s  back,  panting,  his  arms  around  Hal.  “God,  Hal.  Wow.
That was…” His breathless voice faded.
“Yeah.” Hal had to agree. That had been one for the books. He was beginning to feel
every one of his forty-three years. His legs trembled, about to give at any moment. “God, I need to
sit.”
“Yeah. Let’s take this to bed, babe.” Trevor moved off but not far, rinsing them both
with the spray from the shower nozzle until they were come-free. Trevor turned off the shower, got
their towels from the hooks and began to dry Hal. Hal felt the silly grin plastered all over his face
as  his  heart  melted  some more under his  lover’s  tender  ministrations.  Trevor  winked.  “Glad  you
approve.”
Making  a  quick  show  of  it,  they  dried  off,  put  on  their  underwear  and  slid  into  the
cool  Egyptian  cotton  sheets  of their  king-sized  bed.  Trevor snuggled  up  close, spooning  Hal from
behind until all that warm, sweet-scented solidity did Hal in. His eyes began to droop.
Hal had to say it, though, before sleep would overtake him completely. “Trev? I want
you to know that I will do whatever it takes to be with you.” Trevor made a soft conciliatory sound
and, even though his eyelids closed of their own volition, Hal pressed on, his words slurred a bit.
“I mean the sex just now… That was great. Awesome, to be honest. But I don’t want you to think
that I used sex to shut you up or so I wouldn’t have to listen to you. Because I did hear you. Loud
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and clear, I swear.” Trevor tightened his grip, and Hal felt a wave of relief wash over him. Sighing
with quiet contentment, he asked, “Are we good?”
Trevor kissed the nape of his neck, just below the brown hairline. “Yes, Hal. We are. I
know you, babe. When you make up your mind to do something, everyone should just steer clear
and move out of your way for their own safety. If you say you’re going to change, I believe you. I
haven’t  always  trusted every  one of your  promises.  But I  do  have  faith  in  you and  that this  time
you’ll keep your word.”
“I will,  Trev. Cross my heart and  hope to die.” With effort and  huffing Hal turned to
his other side to face Trevor and his bright blue eyes. “I love you. For all time.”
Trevor smiled and kissed him. “I know, goofball. I love you too. And everything will be
all right.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Hal closed his eyes and nuzzled Trevor’s neck, breathing in his masculine scent. He
allowed his mind to drift into the night. He knew he’d dream of Trevor who was his lover, partner
and companion. They had stood the test of time, and they had done so side by side.
** The end **